Brief eines Bayern an die Nasa

Greet God,

I write you, because you must help me. I have seen your Space Shuttle in the television. In color. And so came me the idea to make holidays in the world-room. Alone. Without my crazy wife.
I am the Kraxlhuber. The king of Bavaria was my clock-clock-grandfather. I stand on a very bad foot with my wife. Always she shouts with me. She has a shrill voice like a circle saw. She lets no good hair at me. She says I am a Schlapp-tail. She wants that I become Bürgermaster. But I want not be Bürgermaster. I have nothing at the head with political shit. I want my Ruah. And so I want make holidays on the moon. Without my bad half. But I take my dog with me. He is a boxer. His name is Wurstl. So I want I flight in your next Space Shuttle. But please give me not a window place. I would kotz you the rocket full, becaue I am not swindle-free. An no standing-place...
And please do not tell my wife that I want go alone. She has a big Schrot-gun. She would make a sieve from my ass. I need not much comfort. A nice double-room with bath and kloo and windows with look to the earth. So I can look through my far-glass and see my wife working on the potatoe field. An I and my dog love us a branch (Hähä). We will kringel ourself before laughing (Höhöhö) !
Is what loose on the moon ? I need worm wether and I hope the sun shines every day. This is very goof for my frost-boils.

With friendly servus
Xaver